I don’t know about bird shit

A bird shit on my car yesterday.

It got me thinking.

There are up to 400 billion birds in the world. 400 BILLION. How is it possible that I only see bird shit on my windshield and on the faces of unfortunate pedestrians.

Why are we not all constantly walking a puddle of fresh bird shit?

I don’t understand. So I made a haiku, because who doesn’t love a good fucking haiku:


Bird shit. Oh, bird shit.

You’re gross. And you are plenty.

But where do you go?

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